I Don’t Have All the Answers. But I Know What It’s Like to Ask Better Questions.
You ever sit across the table from someone, nodding along to their advice while thinking, “Yeah, but you don’t get it.”
I have, a hundred times.
I’ve also been the guy giving advice — spreadsheets, budgets, compound interest charts. I spent over a decade in finance, helping people sort out the numbers of their life. And it was good work. I liked helping people feel stable and in control.
But after a while, I noticed something deeper going on. A couple would sit down to talk about their retirement plan, and by the time we were 20 minutes in, I knew more about their fears than their money. A client would ask about debt payoff strategies, and somehow we were talking about shame, identity, or their childhood.
That’s when I realized: most people don’t need a better spreadsheet. They need a better story.
So I started listening more. Asking better questions. Eventually, I went back to school to become a Marriage and Family Therapist.
Why I’m Doing This Now
This blog isn’t some guru-led guide to being your “best self.” It’s not a brand platform. It’s a space where we talk about the hard stuff — porn addiction, broken confidence, disconnection in marriage, and the quiet, daily self-betrayals that make life feel heavy.
I’ve wrestled with my own demons. I know what it’s like to feel directionless, to try and outperform shame with success. I’ve buried myself in productivity, numbed myself with alcohol and porn, and tried to make my way forward without anyone noticing how lost I was. On the outside, I was the perfect husband, employee, and friend.
Eventually, things imploded. I lost the love of my life, turned to alcohol, almost lost my job, and lost many friends. I would sit at night, wondering why I continued — if it wouldn’t be easier just to end it all. But I didn’t! And you don’t need to either!
This space is for people who’ve done the same — who don’t need pity or a checklist, but want language for what they’re feeling and a reminder that transformation is possible (ok, and maybe the occasional checklist — what can I say, Excel is handy).
What Makes Me Qualified to Talk About All This?
Good question. I’m not going to tell you I have it all figured out. But I’ve lived through some things:
- I’ve helped couples confront financial strain that was slowly killing their connection — not by giving them budgets, but by helping them talk through what money represented in their marriage.
- I’ve tracked my own addiction cycles, learning how emotions, stress, and belief systems tie into behavior — especially around porn, anger, and self-worth.
- I’ve lived through divorce, death, and isolation. My life has been anything but rainbows and sunshine, and I have made it to the other side of those events a better man.
- I’ve studied systems, both in finance and family dynamics, and I’ve learned how they mirror each other. Broken financial patterns often reflect broken relational patterns.
- And I’m becoming a therapist not because I “knew early on” that I was meant to help people — but because I had to be humbled enough to admit that the way I was doing life wasn’t working.
What You’ll Find Here
This blog is a mix of stories, practical frameworks, biblical exploration, and honest conversation.
Some days we’ll talk about what porn addiction really costs a man’s soul. Other days we’ll explore masculinity, or marriage, or how to rebuild trust with yourself. You’ll also find:
- Real talk about finances — not just how to “get rich” but how to stop money from ruining your relationships.
- Therapeutic tools — things I’m learning in my own training that actually help.
- Faith-based reflection — because I believe the soul needs truth more than platitudes.
And all of it comes from someone who is still in the trenches, not looking down from the finish line.
Why Listen to Me?
Because I won’t pretend. I’m not selling a formula or a guaranteed path to success. But I am someone who will sit with you in the mess and ask a better question. I’m someone who will share the hard-earned insight without pretending the pain didn’t matter.
I’m trying to become the kind of man I wish I’d had to walk alongside me years ago.
If that sounds like someone worth listening to — welcome. You’re not alone here.
Alec Capel 